Saturday, September 29, 2012

Perfume


“Hey, that looks like a neat bottle of perfume!” she thought to herself. She was making her way home from work when the bottle caught her eye, tucked away amongst other knick knacks in a shady looking shop. A quick enquiry elicited that the shopkeeper was willing to part with for the princely sum of thousand rupees. It was a big amount, and she already had scores of perfumes at home. But there was something special about this one, and anyway she firmly believed that there wasn't anything more mundane than shopping only for stuff you actually needed. She pitied those who had never experienced the thrills of a spontaneous buy. That principle had stood her in good stead in life, or so she thought anyway; and anyone who disagreed could take a hike!
The decision to buy the bottle was taken in a matter of seconds and a brief bout of haggling ensued. It ended predictably with the shop keeper wrapping the bottle up, clutching a five hundred note with a slightly dazed expression on his face. Meera took the package and resumed her home ward journey, well content with her day’s work. 

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Her mood changed over the half an hour metro ride home however, typical of her mercurial nature; and as she climbed the stairs to her third floor flat, she was already chiding herself for yet another unnecessary purchase. Why couldn’t she have just bought the groceries and come home sensibly, like she’d planned. Why did the path to a carton of milk and a dozen eggs have to be interspersed with bangles, perfumes, chappals and what not.
On reaching home, she unpacked the bottle of perfume distastefully, bracing herself mentally for yet another lecture from her conscientious flat-mate. However, as soon as she took the bottle out from its box, she fell in love for a second time. It was a dainty little crystal bottle; and the amber liquid inside it gave it an almost ethereal glow. It looked much prettier than it had in the shop, where its beauty had been lost amongst the plethora of bric-a-bracs around it. She opened the fragile lid of the bottle gingerly, and took a tentative whiff; and was transported into a different world. The fragrance seemed to be a combination of vanilla, sandalwood, roses, and all the good things in the world! Even though she prided herself for being a connoisseur of perfumes, she had never quite smelt something like this. She hugged herself mentally for her wonderful purchase, and replaced the lid quickly; so that not even a fraction of the precious vapors could escape.
The bottle was given a place of pride on her mantelpiece, right beside her sister’s photo and the photo of her family vacation to Shimla. It soon became the envy of her friends, and she would shepherd them around it like a fussy curator. Woe betide anyone who dared to compare its fragrance unfavorably with that of some well known brand! With time, the bottle of perfume ceased to be a fashion accessory and became a symbol of a utopian place – a place where everything was just the way she wanted it to be. Whenever she had a bad day at work; or when she was melancholic, she would wear it, and feel her mood lifting. It became a panacea for all her troubles, a soothing balm to ease her worries away. It came to represent all the things she liked about herself – her impulsive nature, her good judgment, her fine taste. The perfume was also a beacon of constancy, something which would always be there, even though everything else might not. It was remarkable how something so seemingly trivial and common-place could assume such significance!

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There are some moments which are etched into your memory. Your mind behaves almost like a media player; and you can recall each scene screen by screen. And just like a video, you can watch it over and again.  Of course when the day began, Meera didn’t know that this was going to be one of those occasions, but as it turned out eventually, it was.
The day started off normally enough. She was rushing to office, late as usual. Running around the room, frantically combing her hair with a half eaten bread in the other hand, she collided with the mantelpiece. The mantelpiece tilted slightly, and the bottle of perfume dropped towards the floor. Although the entire episode couldn’t have taken more than five seconds, it appeared much longer to her. Time seemed to stop still. She could vividly visualize the bottle dropping to the floor, could see the spot where it was going to hit. And the worst thing was the feeling of helplessness. She knew something bad was going to happen, could see it happening in her front of her eyes, but could do nothing to prevent it.
The perfume hit the floor with a sickening crash, and broke into a million pieces. The amber fluid started oozing out, spreading across the floor, seeping into the rug. There were even some splashes on the sofa. At first she was too stunned to even react. She just stood there in disbelief, watching the whole thing unfolding before her eyes. Then she dropped to the floor, and tried to pick the shards up. She didn’t know what she was doing, or why she was doing it. There was a faint hope that she would be able to pick all the pieces up, would miraculously be able to put the perfume back somehow. But she soon realized how futile such an effort was. And in the process of trying to rectify the damage, she was actually hurting herself. The glass shards were biting her hands, drawing amber liquid of their own.
She got up then. She realized that there was nothing which she could do. Painful as it was, she could do nothing better than be a spectator.
Soon all the perfume had disappeared – either evaporated into nothingness or soaked up by the rug. All that was left behind were the crystal fragments, glittering in the sunlight.

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Every once in a while, when she would sit on the sofa, she would catch a whiff of the familiar fragrance. Maybe some of the perfume had still not evaporated. Maybe it was some other odour. Or maybe it was just her imagination. She didn’t know what it was, but she knew that either way, it didn’t matter...


Monday, July 9, 2012

There are things time can't heal

I don't know why I wish to write on this page. Maybe because it is hidden from almost all. Maybe because somewhere deep inside I still want someone to read it, sometime later....much later when nothing matters anymore.
I have seen many twists in life, stumbled on many stones, got confused on many turns, nearly fell on the bends, but some how managed to be on the line. I used to convince myself that time is the biggest healer and almost everything becomes fine with time. And in some time things don't remain all that painful and eventually we all find our happiness.
But sadly I realize that almost always will there be an urge to suppress a smile, because it just feels so obscene to be happy when you know how much hurt, how much pain you have tried to leave behind. In your lonely moments you do remember the happy times which just turned into pain and alas, are there no more. You find reasons to believe how happy you are now, how much better it is from earlier. And in fact that may be true for most times. But there are times, and more often than you would want them to be there, when you just think of how it used to be.
Beautiful moments should always be remembered because no matter what happens, they will remain unchanged and always give you happiness. But what if those moments are still beautiful, still happy, but still nothing remains the same any more. Those moments, frozen in time though, just don't stay ageless. The part of them which used to give happiness dies somewhere.
And with that dies a little part of me.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Beginning

I had decided to have a blog that I write with someone. Not like the individual blogs that we have in which we decide what is and is not to be said. We rule things there! I wanted to do it with someone this time. Where whatever post we put up will be a shared one. Something that is half of me and half of someone else and yet in its entirety it will be us both.
Sadly my partner turned out to be lazier than me. But i really like the template that I had chosen for this, and I thought that this picture definitely deserves a post. I don't really care if this post is 100% me, something that wasn't planned. But it's okay, my search for a co writer will go on.

And yes, if you are reading this Mister, you should know that you are sacked !