I don't know why I wish to write on this page. Maybe because it is hidden from almost all. Maybe because somewhere deep inside I still want someone to read it, sometime later....much later when nothing matters anymore.
I have seen many twists in life, stumbled on many stones, got confused on many turns, nearly fell on the bends, but some how managed to be on the line. I used to convince myself that time is the biggest healer and almost everything becomes fine with time. And in some time things don't remain all that painful and eventually we all find our happiness.
But sadly I realize that almost always will there be an urge to suppress a smile, because it just feels so obscene to be happy when you know how much hurt, how much pain you have tried to leave behind. In your lonely moments you do remember the happy times which just turned into pain and alas, are there no more. You find reasons to believe how happy you are now, how much better it is from earlier. And in fact that may be true for most times. But there are times, and more often than you would want them to be there, when you just think of how it used to be.
Beautiful moments should always be remembered because no matter what happens, they will remain unchanged and always give you happiness. But what if those moments are still beautiful, still happy, but still nothing remains the same any more. Those moments, frozen in time though, just don't stay ageless. The part of them which used to give happiness dies somewhere.
And with that dies a little part of me.
I have seen many twists in life, stumbled on many stones, got confused on many turns, nearly fell on the bends, but some how managed to be on the line. I used to convince myself that time is the biggest healer and almost everything becomes fine with time. And in some time things don't remain all that painful and eventually we all find our happiness.
But sadly I realize that almost always will there be an urge to suppress a smile, because it just feels so obscene to be happy when you know how much hurt, how much pain you have tried to leave behind. In your lonely moments you do remember the happy times which just turned into pain and alas, are there no more. You find reasons to believe how happy you are now, how much better it is from earlier. And in fact that may be true for most times. But there are times, and more often than you would want them to be there, when you just think of how it used to be.
Beautiful moments should always be remembered because no matter what happens, they will remain unchanged and always give you happiness. But what if those moments are still beautiful, still happy, but still nothing remains the same any more. Those moments, frozen in time though, just don't stay ageless. The part of them which used to give happiness dies somewhere.
And with that dies a little part of me.
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